Thursday, October 28, 2010

When I Become a Rich and Famous Author....

The first thing I'm going to do is buy my mom a new red, Ford Edge. Four door, power steering, power breaks, CD player...all the bells and whistles.

Next stop is to the bank, where I withdraw a couple thousand dollars in cash, head on over to Plaza Frontenac dressed in my usual jeans and t-shirt with my hair in its customary ponytail, where of course I won't buy a single thing! Why the hell would I want to spend my hard earned money on over priced designer duds, sold by snooty bitches who probably had their finger on the security button the second I walked through the door.

From there, I'll take my little ass over to good old Kohl's, then Chesterfield Mall and buy something I like, not because of the tags, or price. Just because I liked them!

I'll buy my family a large home on some sprawling ranch, a few ATVs for myself and the kids, a couple of horses, and of course put money aside for my kids education.

Doesn't that all sound wonderful? If this is your goal for becoming a writer, well, turn your laptop into a ain't gonna happen.

Those of us who devote hours a day, or sometimes only a week, do it because we love it. We write because it's who we are, and because we really have no choice. I've constantly got stories and characters running through my mind, and if I didn't put them on paper (or screen), I may very well go stark raving mad! I've made many friends in the cyber world, some who have been published, some who are working at it, then there are others who only do it to keep the characters quiet in their heads. Sounds a little crazy I'm sure, but the writers are all sitting there nodding in understanding.

Someone once said they wanted to be a writer because it seems like such a glamorous life. For those of you who believe that, feel free to stop by my house any day of the week. You'll find me still in my pajamas around noon, drinking my, oh I don't know, tenth cup of coffee, sucking on a cancer stick and screaming at the laptop to tell me what it wants. Very glamorous I know. Hey, at least my teeth are brushed upon rising!

And by the way, I really will buy my mom that car with my first large advance. It may not be for a couple of years, but that doesn't mean I'll ever give up!