I don't belong to your Clique!!!!

This weekend I went out to dinner with a close friend, then went to watch my husband's band. If you saw the two of us together you'd end up scratching your head. My friend is very put together, wears beautiful clothes, her hair is always impeccable, and her makeup is always perfect. She reapplies her lipstick several times a day and checks her powder to make sure her skin is flawless. Me? Yeah, I was wearing a black skirt, t-shirt, two-tone fishnet tights, black sparkly Converse shoes, cat eyes and red lipstick. But we have so much in common and have a blast together (even if we do get looks when we go out).

In high school I had my group of friends I hung out with after school, but was friends with everyone. I didn't restrict myself to one clique. I had friends on the cheerleading team, football and baseball teams, nerds, freaks, etc. I never discriminated.

What's my point, you ask?

Cliques!

I've noticed that with every form of art there is a clique that follows. My youngest sister is a painter and deals with it in school. My husband is a musician (and artist) and he sees it, even among adults. And I'm a writer....Yep, I see it everyday.

On Facebook I have over 1200 friends. Now, I don't "know" all of these people, but interact with 95% of them on a weekly, and sometimes daily, basis. With the exception of family and friends, these are people in the industry - other authors, editors, agents, publishers, illustrators, book cover artists, etc. When I see a fellow author get a great deal, or even a movie author I'm ecstatic. Why wouldn't I be? I know firsthand how much time it takes to complete a novel, perfect it, find an agent, etc. I know the blood, sweat, and tears that goes into every chapter of your baby. But, I've noticed not everyone is like that.

Sometimes, just like in high school, you come across a person, or group of people, whose jealousy (or maybe just lack of personal life) forces them to bash anyone who may have success. They stalk blogs, Facebook and Twitter accounts, and make snarky comments to anyone who will listen.

I'll be the first to admit I don't comment on people's blogs enough. The truth is, I don't know how to find out these people have a new blog post unless they share it on one of the social sites. I'm not a very tech savvy person. Also, if someone has said what I was thinking, what's the point of going "yeah, what he said." I know every time there's a comment on a blog an alert goes to their email, so I'm sure they don't appreciate the equivalent of a texted "k", or "lol".

I no longer belong to a writer's group, my critique partners are online, people I've me through social networks. I no longer reveal personal information to anyone I don't know on an extremely personal level, and I don't get involved in the bickering on boards. I don't have the time. Between writing, researching, editing, housework, raising three kids, two dogs, chickens, lizards, and cats...oh, and a wonderful husband, I just don't have the time for any added drama. Save the drama for your mama.

How about you? Have you experienced any cliques, or backstabbing in the creative world?

Stop giving your friend five star reviews!!!!

I've been thinking a lot about book reviews lately. Every author - especially debut authors - need reviews on their books. Book reviews sell books, as does word of mouth. But, it seems to me more often than not, friends and family of the author are posting reviews, rather than your everyday reader.

I've gone book pages on Amazon and looked through reviews of authors I'm familiar with. One particular book had seven reviews - three five stars, one four stars, and three two stars. The higher stars were from other authors from a writer's forum most of us frequent. The lower three were unknown to me.

This particular situation got me thinking even deeper about reviews; would I want good reviews only because someone knows me, or because they like my work? I think the answer is obvious here.

And here's another question: Can the good reviews on a bad book lend discredibility to the reviewers' work? Will someone realize that Joan Smith - author of Blah, blah blah gave a good review on a bad book and question their talent?

Okay, now that we've delved into this little arena, how about unsolicited reviews? When one reaches out on social networks and begs  asks their "friends" to read and review their work, does this seem desperate, or like someone truly believes in their book and wants to know the opinion of the general public?

What about you? Do you read reviews before buying books? And, if you're a writer, do you seek out reviews from bloggers and book reviewers?

The story of Drexel: She was more than just a dog...

Everyone means well when they say they know where I am, they had to put their dog down. But, I think I need to explain my relationship with you. Drexel was more than just a dog to me.

I adopted Drex from the Humane Society on June 1, 2000 as a four month old puppy. In the beginning, she annoyed the piss out of me. I've never been one to enjoy puppies, kittens, or even babies. Oh, I know that sounds bad. It's not that I don't like them, I just prefer to enjoy them and give them back to their moms. Drex chewed up everything; my shoes, my clothes, my furniture, everything. She couldn't seem to get housebroken, nor trained.

One day, while she was in heat, she got out and I found her mating with a male dog from the neighborhood. The next day I called the Humane Society and asked what would happen if they received a pregnant dog. At this point, she was about six months old. They told me they would put her to sleep if she was indeed pregnant. I hung up and bawled.

I called my mom and told her "she doesn't even know how to sit," to my surprise she sat. Within the next few days she was suddenly housebroken and listened to commands. From that day on she went everywhere with me. If I wasn't going to be in a store more than twenty minutes, she came along. If she was allowed in the store, she came in. She went on camping trips, canoe trips, and family trips with me. I was unable to conceive a baby, so she was my child. I embroidered her stocking with her name, bought and wrapped Christmas gifts, and stuffed her stocking. She had a bandana for every holiday, every special event.

I even kept the first puppy tooth she lost. (Yes, I still have it packed away somewhere)

I was in an abusive marriage; she was my protector. I was always alone; she was my friend and companion. Even after becoming a mother to my three awesome kids, she was still considered my first born. She was always in our holiday portraits, and I talked about her as if she was one of my kids.

Drexel was in my life for almost twelve years, and I will never stop loving her. I will never forget her. I will always hurt for the loss of my baby girl.

I love you, Drexel. Forever and ever!!!!

If you make me mad I'll give you a bad review!

Not really, but this sure seems like the way of the writing industry. I guess when I started looking for other authors, I was completely naive. I thought we would all hold hands and encourage each other. Of course, not everyone would get along, as that's just the way it is, but those people would just choose to befriend someone else. I had no idea that if someone disliked my shoes, my nose, my hair, or my style of writing it would become their personal mission to destroy my spirit.

Let me just say this...no, my feelings aren't hurt, I won't be hanging from my shower stall, dragging a razor across my wrist, or even frowning. Just because someone may not like me will not change who I am, or how I feel about life.

So, to the point of this blog...should authors review their friend's books? I've noticed a lot of "give mine a review, and I'll give yours a review", whether or not the book has been read. Hell, I had a couple of friends do that to my first book when I first released it. Then, to my surprise, when these people decided I was no longer a part of the popular crowd, they first took their reviews down, then took turns bashing my book in other's reviews. Grow up! I will not review a book I've never read, I will not give a great review to a book I don't like, and I will not attack someone because I don't like them. There is actually an author I know whom I've lost all respect for, yet I rather enjoy one of their books.

Do you think authors should trade reviews? What if you/they have never read the book? Do you think this is a slippery slope?